5 Common Situations People With Anxiety Go Through (and What to Do Instead of Spiraling)

Christine Leyva
Apr 14
4 min read

What do we do with the parts of ourselves we wish would go away?

If you’ve been in therapy, read the books, tried the tools, and your anxiety or OCD still flares up now and then, you might think: What if this is just how I am?

When things feel overwhelming

If you ever feel like you’re “backsliding,” try this five-step practice:

STEP 1: Pause: Take a breath. Name what’s happening.

STEP 2: Notice: Label your thoughts or feelings (e.g., "I’m having an anxious thought").

STEP 3: Anchor: Bring your attention to your body: feet on the floor, breath in your chest.

STEP 4: Ask: What matters to me right now?

STEP 5: Act: Take one small step in that direction, even if anxiety is still present.

You’re not broken if anxiety keeps showing up. Anxiety comes and goes; it's not something you can erase forever. Therapy isn’t about “curing” you or eliminating anxiety completely. It’s about helping you live a full, meaningful life even when those symptoms are still present sometimes.

In a world obsessed with getting rid of discomfort, it’s easy to feel like you’re doing something wrong if you’re still struggling. But just because you’re still struggling doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. In fact, people who are thoughtful, caring, and safety-focused often experience anxiety more intensely because their minds are wired to protect.

That’s why we’re offering these reflection prompts. They’re not meant to “fix” you, but to give you small, steady ways to check in with yourself, understand what’s happening, and move forward with more clarity and self-compassion.

Below are five common situations we hear about all the time in therapy. For each, we’ll explain what’s actually going on and how to gently shift your mindset using reflection prompts that can help you reset.

1. The “what if” spiral

You start with a small thought. It snowballs.What if this means something bad? What if I made a mistake? What if I never feel better?

Your brain is trying to protect you through problem-solving. But it doesn’t know when to stop.

What this usually means: Your nervous system is in protect mode. It thinks it’s helping. But spiraling only adds stress.

Try this:

What question is my brain asking that it can’t answer with certainty?
Try to lean into the fear and imagine, okay, what if it did happen?

2. Avoiding something that feels unsafe (even if it’s not)

You cancel the plan. You skip the trip. You stay silent instead of saying what you want.It feels safer, but over time it also feels smaller.

What this usually means: Your brain has confused discomfort with danger. Avoiding gives you relief, but it also confirms the fear.Focus on the tiniest next step, not the full leap, so it feels possible to begin.

Try this:

What have I been avoiding because of anxiety? Notice the thing you keep putting off, even if it seems small, and name it honestly.
What’s one small way I could move toward it, even if I still feel afraid?

3. You know it’s irrational, but you still feel it

You’ve read the books. You’ve been to therapy. You know this thought doesn’t make sense. But it still grabs you.

What this usually means: Anxiety doesn’t respond to logic. It responds to felt safety. Thinking harder won’t help. But learning to notice and sit with the discomfort will.

Try this:

Am I trying to win an argument with my anxiety?
What would it look like to stop solving and just notice what’s happening, not saying that it’s bad or good, but just that it is?

4. Believing that progress should mean zero anxiety

You were doing well. Sleeping better. Feeling okay. Then something triggered you. Suddenly it feels like you’re back at the beginning.

What this usually means: Recovery is not a straight line. Setbacks are part of the process. The goal isn’t zero anxiety. It’s learning how to live well with it.

Try this:

What’s one thing I’m doing differently now compared to before?
What does real progress look like for me today?

5. Getting stuck on a decision or thought

You replay a conversation. You second-guess a text. You feel like you have to “get it right” before you can move on. But nothing feels right.

What this usually means: You’re stuck in a loop of seeking certainty. But certainty is never enough. The work is in moving forward while still feeling unsure.

Try this:

What am I trying to be 100 percent sure about?
What would happen if I accepted the discomfort and took the next step anyway?

Haven’t gotten professional help yet? We get it.

Not everyone reaches out for therapy right away and that’s completely understandable. There are a lot of reasons why it can feel hard or even unnecessary at first. Here are just a few we hear often:

“I should be able to figure this out. I’m smart enough to beat it on my own.”
“I already know the logic, I just need to apply it.”
“This isn’t that bad. Other people have it worse.”
“I don’t want to rely on someone. I want to do it myself.”

You might know your fear is irrational. You might tell yourself it’s "just a thought." But when anxiety hits, it doesn’t always respond to facts. It responds to fear.

That’s where therapy can help. It teaches your brain a new way to respond, even when the doubts are screaming. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak or giving up. It means you’re ready to stop wasting energy on internal battles and start getting back to your life.

You’re doing your best. Let’s build on that.

We help people who feel stuck in the same loops finally feel like themselves again. Anxiety doesn’t always respond to thinking harder. But therapy can help retrain the response.

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